biblical lament could contribute to success in processing grief, as God already loves all of us with unconditional love
Wolfelt (2023) Stated, “Grief is not an illness, it is the natural and necessary sequel to love”
Tal, et al. (2017) warned, “CG (complicated grief) is a debilitating condition that leads to a number of negative health outcomes, including increased suicidal ideation” (p, 267). Why do survivors have suicidal thoughts? Tal, et al. (2017) analysed,”suicide survivors report higher levels of rejection, shame, stigma, need for concealing the cause of death, and blaming” ( p. 267).
I work at Aoake Te Ra (bereavement by suicide) as a bereavement therapist. From my grief sessions, almost all my clients disclose these emotions. It is required for all clinicians to provide risk assessment for every session because we know most of them present with elevated risk of suicide. According to Cerel and Standard (2018), “The continuum model. involves concentric circles moving from exposure to affected by the death to bereaved in the short or long term. This illustrates that a wide variety of people could be exposed to a suicide death, with a subset of those exposed reporting negative effects experienced as a result of the exposure” (p.77). Cerel and Standard (2018) argued, “Interestingly, the perception of closeness and impact of the suicide varied widely by relationship category. For example, 72.0 percent of immediate family members reported the suicide decedent was highly close to them and 51.9 percent reported the death created a great deal of impact in their lives” (p.77).
As a bereavement therapist, I consider each client’s cultural background, gender, ethnicity, age group, support system and other factors in the process of finding safe and effective practice. For instance, I refer to marked different approaches when working with Japanese clients as compared to NZ Pākehā clients. This is due to many Japanese residents have differing views of death, grief processes and customs as compared to the Western cultural norm. How can we work with a client who has different cultural background from the therapist? According to Earley and Soon Ang, “Cultural Intelligence is also known as Cultural Quotient (CQ), which is derived from IQ. Earley and Ang defined Cultural Intelligence as the ability to adapt to new cultural settings” (Mindtool,2023). In Japan, there exists different types of suicide including ‘johatsu’ (evaporation), ‘net jisatsu’ ( internet pact suicide),‘sinju’ (chasing suicide), ‘ikka-sinju’ (die by all family members), and ‘homecide-suicide.
‘net jisatsu’ is really common in Japan, now.
“In the latest confirmed case in early May, the victims were a man, 30 years old, and two women, 22 and 18. None had apparently known the others before meeting on line, where they started planning their suicide. As in several other cases, they died of carbon monoxide poisoning from a coal-burning stove after sealing themselves in a room with plastic sheeting and duct tape” (Huus,2003).
In addition another news reports, “We do not know if the victims were familiar with each other or how they became familiar,” the police spokesman said, holding his briefcase firmly on his lap. Unlike murder, suicide is not a crime, so investigators find it difficult to justify pursuing these cases” (Samuels, 2007). Even though the organizer found on the website, normally “They portray themselves as philanthropists” (Huus,2003).
Japanese suicide is unique as shown above because their concept of suicide is ‘seppuku’ (die for honour) and it is difficult to comment on the death with this complicated philosophical background. In fact, Picken (2016) pointed out, “traditional values cannot so easily be eliminated from any society”.
When I consider the bereavement therapy for Japanese clients, it is really important to have high CQ because of their complexity and expectations on the therapists’ ability to provide grief therapy. It is fundamental to understand the meaning of suicide as it enables the clinician to see the meaning of death for that client/family/loved ones. For instance, when I found the person died by ‘net jisatu’, then I understood the person wanted to get the happy moment with others, but if the person died by ‘sinju’ then I found the person was distressed and wish to get a new life. In addition, Cerel and Stanford (2018) stated, “Clinicians should be mindful of the ways in which suicide grief differs from grief following other types of death” (p.83).
When I work for Japanese clients, I usually show my authenticity and empathy to them because they expect me to be a part of survivorship within their spirituality. Deckie (2020) declared, “I define spiritual authenticity as resulting when a person holds his/her beliefs about God in tension with his/her experience of God’s action” (p.532).
Satoh (2019) stated, “as reasons for suicide are difficult to ascertain and often require in-depth interviews with the surviving bereaved.” However, it means the bereavement therapist must have trust relationship with their clients. In other words, I became a part of ‘survivorship’ for the clients. Cerel et. al.(2014) stated, “Such a definition could adopt a more dimensional perspective, viewing the aftermath of suicide as a continuum on which people would be considered “exposed” to suicide,“affected” by the suicide death,and then “suicide-bereaved short-term” and “suicide-bereaved long-term.”(p.594)
Cerel et al. (2014) continued,” We recognize that this term will continue to convey a common identity as people bereaved by this tragic form of loss, and might continue to have utility in policy discussions of the impact of suicide on others beyond the deceased themselves”(p.591). On the other hand, Boase (2016) explained,
“In its interplay of individual and communal voices, Lamentations functions as a form of social reconstruction through which a new communal identity is achieved. In the interplay of voices, there is a movement from individual experiences of suffering to the formation of a group gathered together as a traumatized collectively”(cited in Serfontein,2021, p.6)
When I work with my clients and their families who lost their loved one(s), I usually try to build the rapport, then be their ‘survivorship’ not only their therapist. The biblical lament can be conveyed to them only when we have the therapeutic relationship. Dickie (2020) insisted, “Biblical lament provides a vital way of maintaining a healthy relationship with God when one’s life experience does not match up with one’s beliefs” (p.5). However, I must confirm that the clients are comfortable of using biblical lament for their grief process. Early and Soong stated, “you also need strategies for gathering new information – and the ability to use those strategies to recognize a culture's shared understandings” (Mindtool, 2023).
For example, Serfontein (2021) used biblical lament in the pandemic trauma. “This ‘meaning-making’ literature helps to make sense and give hope to the victims of war and exile, but also of pandemics that rock the core of societies” (p.5). Cerel and Sanford (2018) explained, “Meaning making occurs in both automatic and deliberate ways in an effort to reduce the discrepancy between previously held beliefs and newly acquired situational appraisals of a traumatic and stressful experience” (pp.80-81). In addition, as a bereavement therapist, I actually was in the moment when I was with my client. For example, I saw a Japanese child client who lost her mother and siblings by ‘ikka-sinju’. What is ‘ikka sinju’? Picken (2016) explained, “This term ikka means ‘one house’ normally denoting that a whole family has died in one place and at the same time.” One day, the child client told me, “I discovered the reasons of my mum’s ‘ikka -sinju’. She wanted to protect me from my father’s abuse. She was trying to get a new life (re-incarnation) for all of us. So, we can re-start new life together by suicide! I found how my mum loved me.” I remember that she looked very happy, but it may be difficult for Western people to understand her happiness. Serfontein (2021) emphasizes, “There is a breakdown of language. Words seem to elude the victims on how to express their experience. This literature gives words to the wordless” (p.5). It is not easy to be honest with our lamentable moment. In addition, to consider the cultural safe practice, “Japanese people are generally indirect communicators. They may be ambiguous when answering questions to maintain harmony, prevent a loss of face, or out of politeness” (Scroope,2021). To respect client’s ‘face’, I usually show my authenticity, genuineness, compassion and unconditional love to the client, Jesus, Holly spirit and God during the session because I always get wisdom, energy and sense of oneness which enhance my ability as a bereavement therapist.
Actually, Serfontein (2021) asserted, “A numbness dominates the victims’ lives, but over time this literature can help victims to muster the energy to feel again, to survive and even thrive” (p.5). From my understanding of this sentence, I believe that clients can finally discover the meaning of Jesus’ love which he went through his lamentable moment when he was on the cross.
Cerel and Stanford (2018) continued,
“Notably, feelings of rejection and a sense of abandonment are common for loss survivors. Suicide is often perceived to be a deliberate choice, and a suicide death can result in feelings of abandonment, as those left behind might perceive their loved one’s death as a choice to leave them” (p.83).
According to Boase (2016) “Lamentations went a long way to unify a scattered and a traumatised community around a shared story and how Lamentations helped in creating a new story – a meta-narrative – while searching for meaning in the chaos, is worth looking at” (cited in Serfontein,2021,p.6). I believe the lamentations are a powerful and spiritual way of growing oneself and not only finding a new way of translating the traumatic incident and experience.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be enable to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will ”(Romans,12:2 NIV).
I sometimes see some of my clients with suicidal ideation show their fatigue, exhaustion, hopelessness, powerlessness and full of guilt for their loved one which lead them to give up their life. This is where biblical lament works well. In fact, Serfontein (2021) explained, “Lamentations can help readers through the process of trauma therapy as it opens the wound and helps the individual to connect with the bigger community in trying to make sense of it all and to involve others in the pain” (p.7). Ali et al. (2021) found, “Their recovery was positively impacted by theses connections and the effects they had on their spirit, as in, their internal, socially constructed understanding of what and who else they belong to” (p.14).
Dickie (2020) concluded, “the study of lament seemed to help them understand that one can be oneself and speak to God as one would to a friend, sharing openly and honestly what one is experiencing” (p.532). I also believe that the lamentations are the way of establishing the new relationship with God with our new post-traumatic identity.
From this essay, I have learnt that the important of balance thinking of cultural factors and biblical lament to help clients prevent prolonged suicidal ideation after losing love one. When I was writing this essay, I discovered that biblical lament could contribute to success in processing grief, as God already loves all of us with unconditional love because Jesus went through almost all different types of trauma by the powerful lament for us.
References
Ali, B., Staniforth, B., & Adamson, C. (2021). Reflecting on lived experience: Suicide prevention and the importance of social work in mental health. Aotearoa New Zealand Social Work, 33(2), 6–18. https://doi.org/10.11157/anzswj-vol33iss2id861
By the mind tools content team. (2023). Cultural Intelligence Working Confidently in Different Cultures. https://www.mindtools.com/aisl5uv/cultural-intelligence
Cerel,J., Mcintosh, J.L,Elmeyer, R.A.N.,Maple, M.&Marchall, D. (2014) 'The Continuum of 'survivorship'- definitional issues in the aftermath of suicide'. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 44(6),591-600. DOI: 10.1111/sltb.12093
Cerel, J. & Sanford, R. L. (2018) It’s not who you know, it’s how you think you know them: Suicide Exposure and Suicide Bereavement. The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 71 (1), 76-96. DOI: 10.1080/00797308.2017.1415066
Dickie, J.F.(2020). The practice of Biblical lament as a means towards facilitating authenticity and psychological well-being. Pastoral Psychol 69, 523–537. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-020-00928-z
Huus, K. (2003, October 24) Japan’s chilling Internet suicide pacts.msnbc.com https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna3340456
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Samuels, D. (2007). Let’s die together, why is anonymous group suicide so popular in Japan?. The Atlantic https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/05/let-s-die-together/305776/
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https://researchoutreach.org/articles/double-suicide-modern-japan-ageing-societys-crisis/
Scroope, C.( 2021). Communication, Japanese culture. Cultural atlas https://culturalatlas.sbs.com.au/japanese-culture/japanese-culture-communication
Serfontein, J.L.( 2021,April 28) Introducing a re-reading of Lamentations through the lens of trauma studies: The challenge of the COVID-19 pandemic. In die Skriflig In Luce Verbi.55,(1).1-8. DOI: https://doi.org/10.4102/ids.v55i1.2688
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